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REALTORSPEAK; A Dictionary
February 5, 2009 by David Helm · 2 Comments

First a disclaimer. This is all in jest and is not meant to offend anyone. I spend a lot of time looking at listings, because I am a very small time RE investor. I always get a kick out of the adjectives used to describe homes in these listings. The following are some of my definitions.
ELEGANT You can’t afford it!
FABULOUS See ELEGANT
DEVELOPMENT POTENTIAL Bring a bulldozer!
CHARMER Old and in the way!
LUXURIOUS See ELEGANT
PRIVATE LOCATION You can’t get there from here!
REMODELED A few upgrades done twenty years ago!
FIXER or FIXER UPPER See DEVELOPMENT POTENTIAL
HISTORIC See ELEGANT
CUTE Your family won’t fit in this one!
STARTER HOME See DEVELOPMENT POTENTIAL
NEWER At least thirty years old!
CLASSIC See CHARMER
DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH See DEVELOPMENT POTENTIAL
VINTAGE See Charmer
These are a few of the terms I’ve discovered. I know there are more. Feel free to add any you’d like.
Thanks for looking
David Helm, Bellingham home inspector

David…
What about my favorite term:
Unique - What the heck was the builder / homeowner thinking when they did this.
Depending on the context, Unique can mean a whole lot of different things.
This house is Unique. Meaning: Bizarre, Something only their mother would appreciate.
The layout is Unique. Meaning: The kitchen and the dining room are separated by the bedrooms?
The living room is Unique. Meaning because of the L Shape of the room, only the people on the left side of the sofa can actually see the T.V.
Glen, Thanks for the comment and addition. I should have stated, when I posted this, that it would be great if anyone could add words to this dictionary.